I'll Never Be
by allygrace
Summary: Best-friends, bad-boys, breakups, blue-days, ball-gowns, bulimia… basically Blair. And then there was Dan. DXB TV Show Based.
1. Chapter 1

**Setting: **Sometime after 1X06-1X07 AU

**I'll never Be **

_Ah, the life of the uber successful and fabulously rich. They reside all over the world in places the regular Joe knows not…but their playground, the hub of all things extravagant is the Upper East Side. Many have said that once they get a taste of the fabulous life here, everywhere else shirks in comparison. Once you come here you never go back. So the question is where is B, the queen herself? Last spotted with little J it seems our fair queen has fallen off the face of the earth. Where are you B, and are you coming back?_

_XOXO_

_Gossip Girl _

* * *

_To think it all started with a little white dust. _

Blair Waldorf detested Brooklyn.

Her life was on the Upper East Side, where lavishness and success were abundant, designer fashion was a must and everyone had more money then they knew what to do with. Silly and pretentious it may be to some; to her it was home, a comfort zone. It was her world, and all she had ever really known.

. Desperation can make you do crazy things and apparently Blair was desperate.

Maybe it was that argument with Serena, or maybe it was because her love life was in shambles. Or maybe because for a split second she didn't feel like living her life in a fishbowl Blair decided, against her better judgment to accompany Jenny back to her home in Brooklyn.

* * *

"Your place is…quaint Jenny." Blair said, as she entered the apartment.

"Thanks Blair!" Jenny beamed, and Blair couldn't help but smugly see that Jenny still reveled in her compliments. As hard as she tried,to seem self assured and confident, Blair's words still had an obvious impact on J.

This was a good...it meant she wasn't a threat.

At least not yet.

It was surprising, but Blair's compliment was actually sincere. As much as she would have thought, that the Humphrey residence was a literal hole in the wall. There was something charming, about the place. Blair spent a few minutes surveying the interior, noticed the worn couch, the guitar in the corner, and the pictures on the green colored walls. It was bohemian, and thrifty, but it was nice she decided. Sure, she had walk in closets with more living space… but she didn't hate it.

As Blair was looking around, she noticed in the corner of her eye Jenny staring at her expectantly. Waiting for her to say something, do something anything.

This instinctively inexplicably annoyed her.

Blair suddenly whipped around. "Jenny, when someone is a guest in your home, it's customary to ask them if they would like something to drink."

Normally when Blair spoke, girls shook with fear. It was an honor and a privilege to be addressed by a Waldorf. When she spoke, her voice evoked power and intimidation.

But not this time

Instead of apologizing profusely ,Jenny's eyes narrowed. "Do you want something to drink Blair?"

"No thank you." Blair sighed deeply, as she slumped on the couch.

The young girl peered at her cautiously, "You're not okay are you?"

"Does it matter?"

Jenny nodded, "You need some ice-cream."

Normally Blair would protest ice-cream. There were enough calories in a bowl of chocolate ice-cream to last her a whole day at least. But at this point, she just didn't care. Instead of worrying; she gave in to the sugary cold.

So, she would die fat and alone, it's not like it mattered anyway.

* * *

Time passed unnoticed, at a rapid pace. But Blair was oblivious, her mind on other things. Jenny was talking to her, but she wasn't listening. All she could think about was how one night, that night had changed her life forever.

In love with Nate, but had sex with Chuck…and now hiding in Brooklyn.

Oh how the mighty had fallen.

And with Monday morning fast approaching it could only get worse.

Blair was surprised the world didn't know her business already, but of course it was only a matter of time.

"Jenny!" A masculine voice burst through the door breaking Blair out of her daydream. As Dan entered the apartment, he saw the two girls, and took a step back. "Oh."

"Dan, your home early! Blair is here, she came over…"

"Yeah I can see that…." He looked at Blair with a furrowed brow. "Hi."

"Nice to see you too Cabbage Patch." Blair said as she rolled her eyes. She wondered if he had been with Serena.

"Dad called me, he's stuck uptown. He's staying at a hotel tonight, and he'll come home tomorrow when the snow stops. "

Jenny wore a puzzled expression, "Snow?"

"Look." Dan motioned to the window, and sure enough white flakes were falling fast and furiously from the sky. "I made sure Serena got home okay; it didn't get really bad until about 20 minutes ago. We're supposed to get 6 inches at least."

Blair looked out the window in shock, "Its November in New York City…this is ridiculous."

Dan shrugged, "I blame global warming."

"I need to get home, I'm calling my driver." Blair whipped out her phone, and was a second away from dialing before she was interrupted.

"We're in the middle of the worst snow storm New York City has seen in years, and you're going to make some poor guy drive all the way down here, risking his life in the process?" Dan shook his head, "I shouldn't be surprised."

"What else am I supposed to do?" Blair's tone was icy. The last thing she needed right now, was to be berated by a "morally superior" Dan Humphrey.

"You could sleep here" Jenny offered.

"I don't think Blair Waldorf, sleeps on the couch Jenny. It's beneath her." Dan said as he smiled slightly, obviously amused at his own little snide remark.

Judging by the way he was acting, she could only assume Serena had told him of their fight , and the fact infuriated her.It upset her so much that she found a new source of inner strength. Blair desired nothing more then to rip that little grin off Dan's face, so that's exactly what she did.

"You know what? Thank you for the offer Jenny, the couch is perfect. I guess I'm sleeping here tonight. You don't have a problem with that, do you Dan?" Blair said, in the sweetest voice she could muster.

Dan raised his eyebrows, "Nope."

"Good."

* * *

**A/N- **_This is my first Gossip Girl fic, so I'm nervous. Dan and Blair are my two favorites and I think they have amazing chemistry so I wanted to give this a shot. This chapter just serves as an introduction, so I know there are things I didn't specifically address. I think that things will make more sense in the following chapters, and the story will get better. Please read and review, constructive criticism is appreciated. –__**Ally **_


	2. Chapter 2

_Spotted: A dejected looking S outside of the Palace Hotel. What's wrong S, has the weather got you down, or is there something more sinister at play? Thankfully, it seems her loving lonely boy D was there to make it all better. Say it with me now: "aw, how sweet". In other news, send out the search party because Queen B is officially MIA. She hasn't been seen in hours, and sources confirm that her phone is off. Does this mean that the upcoming December Ball is cancelled? Only time will tell. . You know you love me. _

_XOXO_

_Gossip Girl _

* * *

Blair looked at the blankets in Dan's hands reproachfully, "Are those clean?"

"Actually, no. Our family doesn't believe in the concept of hygiene … we prefer to live in our own filth. Is that a problem?" Dan said, once again dripping of his new found friend sarcasm.

"It was just a question Cabbage Patch, no need for you to get your tighty -whities in a twist. " Blair said, as she gave him her best look of disdain. Dealing with Dan… was growing tiresome

At first it was entertaining, endearing even… to see Dan transform into a wannabe sardonic asshole right before her very eyes. She never realized before how much power she held over him. He had never "fought back" before. She supposed he was defending "Serena's honor" in his own dorky way, but after two hours the Dan Humphrey jackass charade was growing stale.

. The poor boy just didn't know when to call it quits, and he wasn't as cute as he thought he was being either. But of course, telling him that would just add fuel to his already burning fire, so Blair had to settle for rolling her eyes and cutting him down as subtly as possible.

"I found some extra pillows!" Jenny cheerily exclaimed as she entered the living room. "There really soft," she added." I'm sure they will be fine to sleep on."

"Whatever J." Blair sighed wearily. "I feel like I'm in hell." She took a pillow from Jenny, and propped it up against the side of the couch. _Hell._ As she said the words aloud she realized just how true they had become. Blair was alone in her own personal hell, filled with betrayal hurt and broken dreams. Hell was her life now.

" Hell? We're taking you in out of the kindness of our hearts … the least you could do is show us some gratitude." Dan said, with a disapproving glare. "But I guess it's too much to expect… considering the way you treat your friends maybe we're supposed to be lucky that you stoop down to speak to us at all."

Blair didn't need this, not here not tonight. "You don't know me. So don't pretend like you do." Her voice was quieter, more serious then it was normally. Jenny took notice of the change, but Dan did not.

"I know enough!" Dan practically spat at her. "I know that you're bitchy and condescending, and basically an evil demon cloaked in overpriced clothes, I know that my girlfriend cares about you, and you enjoy making her feel miserable. You know what Blair…she's too good for you."

Blair shook her head, "Well I'm glad you finally got that out of your system, we both know you've been dying to tell me that all night. But the truth is, you don't _know _anything Cabbage Patch."

Dan opened his mouth in reply, but was cut off by his sister.

"Dan, we need to talk, my room now." Jenny said as she took him by the sleeve and forcibly dragged him away.

Blair watched the two siblings leave the room. She couldn't fault Dan for being loyal. He just didn't understand. Blair sat on the couch and closed her eyes. Maybe she would open them, and everything would just go away.

* * *

Jenny closed her bedroom door swiftly and looked up to face her brother. "What's up with you?"

"What?" Dan shifted uncomfortably, scuffing his shoe on the ground.

"You're acting weird."

"No."

"Yes. You just blew up at Blair Waldorf! And you don't yell at anybody!"

"She deserved it "

"I don't think so."

Dan let out a frustrated groan. "I don't get it…she treats you like crap…makes you run errands… orders you around... And you're still defending her, It doesn't make sense."

"I'm paying my dues." Jenny said with a shrug of the shoulders. "Blair won't be in high school forever… and as for her personality...that's nothing new."

" Yeah well, I still don't understand why you invited her here in the first place."

"You weren't there this morning Dan…how she was acting...I had never seen her that way before.."

* * *

_**Flashback**_

"_Um, Blair I picked up those gowns that you wanted…for the Ball? I hope its okay that the maid let me in…Blair?" _

_Jenny enters the room to find a listless Blair staring at her ceiling. Her eyes are open, but she does not acknowledge Jenny's presence.  
_

"_Blair…What's wrong?"  
..."_

"_What happened?"  
..."_

"_Are you sick?"  
..."_

"_Should I call Serena?" _

_"NO." _

"_Alright..." Jenny walks over to Blair's bed, and surveys the situation. Blair is still wearing a nightgown and there are makeup stains on her face. Something is obviously very wrong." _

"_Do you maybe want to get dressed?"  
"No."_

"_Take a shower?" _

_"No."_

"_Eat something?"_

"_No." _

"_What do you want to do Blair?" _

"_Die." _

_  
The answer flusters Jenny, and it is a moment before she speaks again. _

"_Well you can't do that. Anything else?" _

"_I want to leave, leave here." _

"_And go where?" _

"_Africa. Africa is far away." _

_Jenny suppresses a sad smile. "Even though you probably could go to Africa, you shouldn't." She thinks for a minute, and has an idea. "Why don't you come to my house, it's far away, but it's not Africa far. Maybe a break from the East Side is just what you need."_

"_Brooklyn…you want me to go to Brooklyn?" _

"_Yeah, I live in Brooklyn." _

_Blair seems to think this over. "Brooklyn."_

**_End Flashback _**

"She kind of snapped out of it, after a while but still. I couldn't just leave her there. Who knows what she would have done. So I brought her home."

Dan sighed, "You did the right thing Jenny…it wouldn't have been right to just leave her. Did you ever figure out what she was so upset about?"

"Nope, but it was something with Serena obviously. And you said Serena was upset too...what did she tell you?"

Dan looked down at the floor. "She wouldn't tell me."

Jenny looked at him wide eyed, "So you have no idea…after everything you said to Blair…."

He flushed "Well she was upset…and she said it was something with Blair…and knowing Blair I just assumed…girls are confusing" he finished lamely.

"You're an idiot Dan."

"Was I really being an asshole?"

Jenny smirked, "Let's just say you were channeling your inner Chuck Bass…lacking all of his charm and charisma …it wasn't pretty."

"I hate that guy."

"I know."

Dan exhaled guiltily. "I guess I'll go apologize."

* * *

Dan braced himself as he entered the living room. He expected a catty remark, but was instead met with silence.

Blair was asleep.

An unconscious Blair, he decided almost looked serene, innocent even. On a second glance, he noticed that she looked cold as well.

He placed a blanket on top of her.

Even if he had conflicting feelings about Blair, Dan still believed that she shouldn't be cold.

* * *

**A/N-**_I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews, I am very happy with the response I have been getting so far . So what did you think of this chapter? What about the flashback? Good, bad...definitely let me know. I would love to hear you feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated. _


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